Ok so I haven’t posted anything worth reading in awhile and I am sure this is not going to be much different. I did finally take pictures for all my long distance friends which is everyone. I missed week 23 so this is week 24. I have been really busy at work, like an “I really don’t ever want to go back and go through that again”. I guess I feel worse for the patients since when we are that busy they don’t get great care. You end up prioritizing, like first which patient do you see first, then depending on how each patient is doing who really needs all your time. I had a really bad night out of the six ruff nights. I had a patient that had had a simple laparoscopic procedure to remove adhesions on Friday night. These patients are supposed to go home within one hour after their procedure. The doctor decided to let her stay for increased pain. Well through that first night it was typical first night post op issues. By Saturday she wasn’t getting much better through the day, Saturday night, my shift, I almost lost her. Now this was two Saturday’s ago and I still feel horrible although I know that I did everything with in my power to make sure she made it. I was honestly on the phone with the doctors every hour. At 3 am I finally convinced the doctor to order a CT scan, only to find out at our 80 bed hospital that our CT is down the parts won’t be in till Monday. So I tell the doctors this and they say to monitor her (what the hell had I been doing all night, not monitoring her?) At about 5 am I was on the phone with the doctors and saying “No you need to get in here NOW and take her back to surgery”. Well she ended up having a perforated bowel, I knew that this was probably the case my midnight shift coordinator knew that this was probably the case, its just trying to convince the doctors that this was the case. Now there really was a lot more going on, little details and such that I wont go into all with this story but to give you an idea of how bad this really was after her second emergency surgery to fix her perforated bowel (which sorry I will go back for all that really don’t know what that is, perforated bowel can happen many ways i.e. from a colonoscopy, laparoscopic procedures, sticking things up your butt that don’t belong there. Get the picture? When it happens on its own it is usually a rupture, so in this case, laparoscopic, it is a perforation.) She ended up septic since her bowels had all Friday night and Saturday to leak out into her gut. She ended up with a hug incision down her abdomen, with a wound vac (a really cool machine that is a sponge in the wound hooked up with a tube to suction and it sucks all the excess fluid you don’t want in there out, in this case all the infected body fluids in her gut). A NG tube sucking all the stuff out of her stomach and gut to let her bowels rest. A central line which she was getting her TPN (nutrition) through. She ended up on a ventilator, sedated and paralyzed for about a week. I feel like shit, she is young, this shouldn’t have happened. I keep rethinking what could I have done different? And honestly with out the doctors picking up their part, nothing, there is nothing else I could have done. I still feel like crap. Her husband actually came over to the day nurses and thanked them for all we had all done. I don’t know what we did we did. I haven’t been this down in a long time, I know that eventually I will get over it but for now I feel like crap and its not a self pity its really a how can I handle this if it happens in the future to another patient and I cant think of anything. This leads me to the thinking that nothing is really in our control. I still really worry that something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy; I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t like to think that way but just knowing the odds. But then I think that if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Things are going wonderfully. On the 16^th on May I go for another ultrasound. I get really anxious about these things, I mean if something is wrong at this point the ultrasound will show it. But things feel right, she is kicking up a storm Chuck and Kaylee got to feel it and you can see my stomach jump! It is amazing, I am still trying to cope with o the fact that we have another little life coming into this world, please God don’t let us f*** this up. We are really happy that we moved somewhere Kaylee fits in. She likes the kids up here, she actually has friends that come over and she goes over there. She is on the little league softball team. Today was her first practice; she actually hit the ball 4 times! She had never even swung a bat before. She just needs to learn team work and that she can let someone else get the ball especially if the ball is in left field and she is in right! She will have two practices a week Mondays and Wednesdays from 4:30 till 6pm. This weekend we will be going to Dunham’s to get her gear. Cleats, pants, helmet, bat. I will take pictures on my little ball player with her softball team shirt when she gets all decked out with all her gear! There was this one girl on the team, we will call her K. K is this 8 year old that kicks a** at this game. She hit almost every pitch she can throw the ball from the catchers position to center field. I told Kaylee to pay attention to her, she could learn a lot. We have high hopes for our daughter meaning that we know she can do it if she wants to but if her hearts not in it then she wont. I just hope she keeps “really really liking it”. Ok the bathroom. This project was not really supposed to take this long in my head! I really didn’t have any idea how long it would take but I didn’t think it would take this long. Its no ones fault, well ok it is the guy who originally build this house since he built it so stupid. But it is starting to take shape and by tomorrow at 4pm I will be able to take a shower in my own house with no plastic on the walls and be able to see my pretty new liner with the awesome window that is in. I can’t wait till it’s done because next we build the babies room! I can’t wait! Oh and for all that know me like really know me you know that I never ever plan more that a few months ahead well I am working on planning a road trip with Chuck Kaylee and Abigail out to AZ next summer. I will be getting a weeks worth of vacation to use and with the help of some cleaver request off days to make it that I work a mon, teu, wend, then request off thur, fri, sat, and sun. Take my weeks worth of vacation mon, teu, wend, thur, fri, sat, sun, request off mon, teus, wed, and thur and work fri, sat, sun. That would be a sweet vacation. That would be 15 days! It is really nice only working 3 days a week and if I request off the days early enough I shouldn’t have a problem getting it done that way. I guess the big deal about that would be gas prices and getting someone who knows what to do with our ferrets to watch them, with some compensation and a play pen so that when they are let out of their cage in their house it wouldn’t be all over the place but in a controlled area. But I really want to get out that way before too long. Thinking more currently this summer seems to be pretty exciting my parents are supposed to come up and we are supposed to go camping and canoeing and just enjoy nature and then we are supposed to go over by Petoskey with Chucks parents to “camp” well there is a casino over there so they would probably spend a lot of time there while we did fishing and stuff. I am so excited that since we have moved up here and even with having all this financial stuff going on we can still afford to do things. When we living down state, we didn’t really get to do anything, especially not plan a vacation (that if doesn’t happen summer 2008 will happen 2009). Well that is a lot longer of a post than I expected so I am stopping now. Ok now.