I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, or maybe there is nothing wrong I don't know. As my friend at work says it is the mid 20's crisis. I don't know what I want to do with my life, well I mean from this point on. Okay with work I don't know if I should stay where I am and stay comfortable with that or do I want to get my masters in a field or even less than that go to a different floor, a different hospital? I just do not want to end up like some of the older nurses on my floor that are old and bitter and all they want to do is complain. But I like my floor, I like the people I work with , I like the patients. Ok well not all the patients, especially some families. Ok so here is a story from work of course names are omitted or changed because of the hippa law. This patient she is fairly young 50-60's. She came in with difficulty breathing and was found to have lung masses. Now this is bad news to hear so the entire and I mean entire family of like 45 people had to come and stay with her. Now at first this was wonderful for her to be surrounded by all those that you love and they love you but at a point enough is enough. When I had this patient she was to have a CT scan with contrast meaning that she has to drink this nasty contrast and then when she goes down they but a separate contrast through her IV. Well that morning I brought in her drinkable contrast and she had some other medication that I had to put through her IV. Everything went fine. They came to take her down for the test and about an hour later I get a call, her IV is no good, could I come down to restart it. Now it is well known that the IVs will always go bad when you send them to our CT area, it is just the curse of where I work. So I ask why no one down there can restart it, the response is it is Saturday and there are no nurses down there to try. This women is really hard to get an IV on. One she has no veins two she is so ridiculous that she will only let you try in a few spots. So I tell them to send her back up. Well now the family is pissed because she had to drink "that nasty stuff". Fine whatever that stuff is still in your body 6 hours later so I have 6 hours to try and get an IV. So I try, no luck, 3 other nurses on the floor try, no luck, I call anethesia up, no luck, I have 3 ER techs and the ER supervisor (come up, can you guess?) no luck. So this is frustrating the hell out of the family they ask Who's ever heard of a patient in the hospital with no IV access and how come I, yes you read that right I not us, me soley me, can not get an IV and this is all my fault. Now I called the doctor and she said that if no luck with the IV get a picc line I tell her it is the weekend and they do not place picc lines on the weekend how about a central line? The doc says no I argue the case again she still says no she wants a picc line. Fine I tell the family what the doctor says and again I get yelled at for how incompetent I am. At this point I am done I go to the charge nurse tell her what is going on and tell her that I will not go back in that room and that tomorrow I will not take that set. Well the charge nurse works 7-7 where I work 3-3 so she picks my set up after me hoping to smooth things over with the family. Well she calls the doctor and tells the doctor everything that is gong on and says a couple of things and somehow gets a order for a central line. Awesome I know the family is pissed at me but I am still happy that this women can have the test done. So the charge nurse works her butt off to get the surgeon to come up and put in a central line and it is all good where she can go down for the test without having to drink more of the contrast and the dumb brat refuses to go for the test. I mean what the hell. So therefore the family blames us now, all the nurses because we are "too stupid" to get this done. In school before we become nurses that this job is portrayed to us as wonderful. You'll be respected the families will recognize what we are trying to do. I mean I spend my whole shift and more trying to get this done for this family and when there are twenty of them circling you in the hall and screaming you feel as if you are about to get your ass beat and that there is no one that is going to help you.
On a different note we have a crazy person that keeps coming up to our floor and pretending to be a volunteer or an aide and tries to work on our floor. Within the last month we have had to have security come get her three times. Crazy people.
Ok off my rant back to my mid-twenties crisis. I have Kaylee I love my Kaylee. My Kaylee is the most beautiful, individualized child. But I don't want her to be the only child. Not much more I can do about this right now, all we can do is try. Then I want a dog, my whole life I have had dogs and I have had to get rid of them for this stupid place no they are allowing dogs but only 20-25 pounds. Bella the dog my mother has is too big :( But We have been looking into these: This is a Shiba Inu. I think they are the most beautiful dog. Okay then on to my mother. We are not talking. I have never been in a fight with my mother this bad but I am done I don't think I ever want to talk to her again. I don't want to go into what happened but she messed up big time and I don't think it will ever go away. This is hard for me I love my mom and not talking to my mom means not talking to my dad and I miss them. I just want my life to go right for once. Things are finally getting done at the apartment. Except that they are not calling before they come over so yesterday I was embarrassed because maintenance is knocking on the door with the painter and here I am in my Skimpy top and pj pants. Now for those that know me I am overweight so my little flab is hanging out and they are here. So they go back to the van for a few minutes to let me put on a different shirt and get the paint. So I call the land lord. I tell him how embarrassed I was and he says well I didn't know you were going to be home I thought you would be at work. Now how the hell can you make that assumption? I don't know I just needed to rant. Today we are going to go see Over the Hedge. Then maybe to the park if it is not water logged.