Peaj

2009-02-11T16:16:00.002-05:00

So it's really early, like only five weeks, but we are expecting our third child! We just found out this last week. We are excited and scared. We just know that everything happens for a reason, when it happens. So we will trust in whatever force has decided that now is the right time!

Lazy

2009-01-18T23:08:00.001-05:00

I am sure that my lack of posts is just laziness. I don't have anything to say. I am too lazy to but my thoughts down.

Today

2009-01-08T15:14:00.002-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNNY!!

A New Year

2009-01-01T19:47:00.002-05:00

Happy New year to all (Chuck and Joe the only two that I think read my site!) hope every one had wonderful holidays! I have kinda made a deal with myself that I am going to stop feeling sorry for what I don't have. I really have a lot! My family, a job (hopefully a new one here in about a month), great friends. What else is there besides more money and we all will always need more money so I have decided to love and enjoy what I have. What I also have right now is ANOTHER awful cold/flu head so stuffed up it hurts to blink thing. I am so SICK of being SICK! I am hoping with the new job (if I get it) being a day job, will help me with controlling my diabetes better which in turn hopefully helps decrease all these colds/flus that I am getting. It has seriously been running since a month before thanksgiving 2 weeks sick 1 week better then 2 weeks sick again. I am just so done with it! Oh well one day at a time. Abby is growing up soooo fast these days. She still isnt talking much (we know she can she just talks in secret when she thinks we are not listening ) but she will in her own time. Kaylee is so smart I can not believe she is 10 already. It seems like yesteray we were all sitting around at Denny's drinking coffee and having great times. I miss those days sometimes. I miss the friendships and conversations late into the morning. Well thats my soap box for the day!

Holiday after the holiday's

2008-12-27T12:52:00.003-05:00

Oh my goodness this year is flying by so slowly lol. So much family so little time. Its been fun but I am ready to try to get me and my family back on our schedule! I am hoping to seriously make a career change. I will post more if things progress in the way I want them. Of course here are some photos!

Of course if you want to see more pictures you will have to visit my myspace page!

2008-12-24T08:54:00.002-05:00

Wishing all my family and friends near and far a very
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-16T19:31:00.003-05:00

You know what sucks about Christmas with a 10 year old and 1-1/2 year old???????? Not know what to get them. My 10 year old loves to read and play her DS ok so we got some books and games. But I really really want to surprise my 10 year old with something "fun" I just don't know what to get her. I was thinking a camera or video recorder you know the cheaper kid ones. I just want to get her something "special" This year she "knows" Santa isn't real so we lost that fun with her. The 1-1/2 year old really doesn't grasp the idea of Christmas so no fun there. And what do you really buy a 1-1/2 year old. She has he baby toys but she isn't quite to the "big kid" toys the 3 years and up so that leaves what? She so far has a pretend kitchen toy, figured she could grow into it. Oh and clothes cause she wont know or remember the difference right? Anyway hope everyone's holiday season is going well!

Report Card Time

2008-12-03T16:59:00.002-05:00

2008-12-02T23:23:00.003-05:00

Photo posts just seem so much easier! Abby wasn't sure what to do with the snow so she just stood and stared! Thanksgiving came and went without much incident. Me, chuck and my mother all came down with this horribly awful stomach bug. But it came and went in 48 hours. We got some really good deals on Black Friday and cyber monday . Kaylee is getting lots of books and games for her DS and Wii. Abby is getting little kid toys of course. Hung out with some awesome friends for my birthday. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Christmas is coming up way to fast so we should all hang on to our hats and not blink or we are going to miss it! I cant believe how fast this year is flying by!

photo updates

2008-11-23T17:24:00.003-05:00

So today was Abby's first Santa encounter! I think the pictures speak for themselves.

Time

2008-11-22T21:45:00.002-05:00

Time seems to just fly by. I never have much to talk about. Not that anyone but a select few of my friends even check this page. Even on myspace I don't seem to post much. Maybe I just don't know how to write what I want down. I know that I am really bummed out a lot. I really wish financially things were different. I am excited that Chuck is starting school but it's still not a second income. But we have always gotten by. We have gotten through worse. Kaylee asked me this year if Santa was really really real. Now I normally just said that it's what she believes in. Well this year she asked me to not lie to her so I told her no but the idea of Santa is there, the giving and caring. But she also knows that this year is not going to be extravagant. Thankfully Abby is still young enough to not know the difference between receiving clothes or toys. She'll be getting clothes mostly. I have been trying to sell off some stuff on craigslist but have had no luck with that. I was hoping to get a little extra christmas money. Oh well eventually it will be sold or donated. Those are the top things on my mind right now there is soooo much more just floating around in there, maybe I will start to put pieces of it down.

Me a professional?

2008-08-23T12:33:00.001-04:00

Your result for The Supervillain Archetype Test...

The Professional

Cool, Levelheaded, Lethal

The Professional is the most dangerous of all villains. You do what you do better than anyone, because, as a Professional, you have standards.

The Professional is like the Crook in that they both desire money. But the Professional wants more than that. The Professional wants job satisfaction. It isn't sadism really, he just wants to be sure that the job is done, and done well. No hard feelings, it's just business. Professionals prefer to work alone, but will work in groups if given incentive.

The greatest weakness of a Professional is risk. A Professional is business-like, but can't resist a challenge. They often use the word "worthy opponent". People like that are easily baited. And if a Professional is eventually cornered (not easy to do), they might lose it.

Sample Professionals: Deathstroke, Bullseye, Revanche

Take The Supervillain Archetype Test at HelloQuizzy

Well guess I should study up on my english...

2008-08-21T10:43:00.001-04:00

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

Advanced

You scored 86% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 60% Expert!

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

Tests hooked on by Lish and Joe now me.... I am such a follower!

2008-08-21T10:22:00.000-04:00

Your result for The What type of MAN turns you on Test...

Adventure man

You scored 70% masculine, 47% athletic, 73% exotic, and 25% refined!

You like a man who doesn't need the crazy muscles to prove he is a 100% man. He is mysterious and his pictures make you want to jump into his head to see what is going on in there...or his pants I suppose. You like a little bad-ass in him and you may like someone like.....Jude Law. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

Take The What type of MAN turns you on Test at HelloQuizzy

2008-02-12T02:16:00.001-05:00

Did you ever think that right now in your life is where you would be? Did you ever imagine when you were 16 that by 26 you would have 2-3 kids, a house, and all the responsibilities that come with life hitting you square in the face each morning you wake up? Those little things like gas, food, coughs and runny noses would be daily concerns? Do you sit back and wonder if this is where you were supposed to be? Did we really have control on getting here? Are we happy enough with here that we don’t step outside our little enclosed lives to see what else is out there? I came to a realization at work the other day. I love being a nurse, but I have settled. Settled into a position that I don’t really enjoy; I love the patients but I want to feel that what I am “doing” means something. I want to push my mental capabilities, I want be able to use the knowledge I have to help people. I would love, just love to be a flight nurse. But I think I could settle for the ER or ICU. My small little hospital doesn’t offer much for choices, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that now. But I truly think I am ready to leave my comfortable little bubble and push myself into something a little more challenging. Maybe I am just a person that has to change something, anything every so often. I know that I have a cardiac rhythm book in the room and I think I am going to buckle down and study up, possibly get my ACLS certification and hopefully make a career move soon!

Makes me think of you.........

2008-02-06T11:55:00.001-05:00

Bubbly lyrics By: Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now
You got me feeling like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

2008-02-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

So I realize that I am really bad at posting but really nothing has been going on. I miss talking with all my friends, but really I feel like I am losing touch with them, if I post or not. I am finally over a super bug that lasted from Christmas till about 5 days ago. Chuck has been sick off and on, same with the girls. Abby is currently the sick one she has a fever and a cough. I just hope that we all stop passing it around soon. Work has been okay I like my job, but the hospital that I work at is supposedly in the red so they have been working use at bare minimum and talking about laying off our aides. I have been thinking about switching jobs, currently trying to get into home care, but the position is more of a Charge nurse position, whatever that means. A friend of mine went to work there and he told me about the position. It is a M-F 9-5 kinda thing, no weekends or holidays. Pays better with better benefits. So I don't really see a down fall to it. Even though I get 4 days off a week I am so tired that most of it is to catch up to having energy. So a 9-5 I would be here when Kaylee leaves and get home a little after her. Hopefully it will work out, just not sure if I will miss the bedside care.
Abby is doing better with her weight. Last time she was weighed two weeks ago she was almost 13 pounds! She is such a little princess too. She knows what she wants and she will let you know if your doing something she doesn't want! Kaylee is doing really good in school. Her teachers say that she is doing really really good academically. She is such a great kid and a great big sister. See not much to really post about but that is a little update on what had been going on!

A new year again?

2008-01-02T00:29:00.000-05:00

This last year has brought so many changes, so many emotions, and a few things that stayed the same and will never change. Lately I have had a hard time thinking about life. Things that we want, things that I want. I miss living down state; I miss our friends a lot. Some times I feel so disconnected up here. On the other hand there are many pluses. We are not as stressed as we were down there. We have a house, which I don’t like too much, but hopefully we can start making the changes we want to it. I definitely wish there were more stores than Wal-Mart close by. I live in a town that doesn’t even have its own grocery store. And Wal-Mart is 20 minutes away. But it does cut down on the spending issues. I really wish that we had stayed closer with many of our friends. I recently got back in touch with a long time best friend whom the last time I talked with her was at my wedding. They just celebrated the birth of there daughter 11-1-07. I am so happy for our friends Rob and Jamie who welcomed their daughter recently as well. I just wish we lived closer so that we could stop by and visit. Up here the only visitors that we regularly see is my husbands parents and I don’t know how much more I can take with them living two doors down. What the hell was I thinking? I wish we could sell this house and move to a house with more property like we wanted. I think I really need to win the lottery. That would help solve many problems. But I have never been that lucky. Then I begin to think that I am just selfish. I shouldn’t want so much. I should be thankful to just have a house of our own, a good job, a loving family, (ooh and the Wii my daughter got for x-mas!) We have been having a lot of fun playing games together. New Years Eve we spent almost 5 hours playing Mario Party 8. A little too long but still a lot of fun. My oldest had a hoot drinking non-alcoholic wine; she liked how it bubbled in her tummy. I hope you all had a good holiday season!

So I pulled my groin muscle….

2007-12-04T21:25:00.000-05:00

Okay so I am a follower I ain’t afraid to admit it! Ha that is funny Word told me my grammar was wrong, duh I ain’t that stupid! Ok so here is a list not of a 100 but a few…

1) I am so confused about how on TV they can use the language of shit, and bitch for our children to hear. But some schools here in America don’t allow the words Christmas or Nativity to be on their papers sent home of to be said to the students. How did this happen?

2) I have a Christmas party this Saturday and I am so socially anxious to go. I am afraid to converse with other people I work with outside of work. But I am really excited to wear the new clothes I bought to wear.

3) I hate raisins.

4) I miss our friends’ downstate terribly.

5) I wish I could be more like some people I know.

6) I love my husband and children more than anything in the world.

7) Shhh don’t tell……. I like my job.

8) I hate my feet.

9) My dog has fleas.

10) I love to eat, but I eat too much.

11) I am confused Borat the movie was a joke right?

12) I need to be more active, I am too fat.

13) I am torn between wanting my husband to work and stay home.

14) I love hamburger helper.

15) At times I have to double check my double checking of Kaylee’s math homework.

16) I love the snow.

17) I love this time of year, December 1^st till the 25^th. I like to watch all the old Christmas movies they show on ABC family.

18) I hate when kids loose teeth and I can not deal with dentures.

19) I miss my best friend horribly.

20) I am scared of changes.

21) I am against the war in Iraq.

22) I want a bigger car.

23) My dog just farted, it smells really bad.

24) I wish I could win the lottery; I really would share it with friends and family!

25) I really wish, wow I forgot guess I don’t really wish it!

26) Oh I remember, I wish that I could get my houses roof and siding and windows replaced.

27) I am hungry.

28) Better.

29) I don’t really like this Borat movie.

30) My daughter “tested” the tooth fairy today, she didn’t tell us that that she lost a tooth and put it under her pillow with out telling us. While she was at grandma and grandpas today I was spraying for the dogs fleas since the dog sleeps in her bed and found the tooth, so we put 2 dollars in place of the tooth. Heh I love her to death, once she found the money she came out and told us she tested the tooth fairy but that she must exist since we didn’t know about the tooth.

31) I love anything cheese flavored just not Swiss cheese.

32) Though I love my job sometimes I hate having all the responsibility of my current job.

33) I wish I could jog.

34) I like the color yellow but hate yellow houses.

35) I wish I could say what I want in a clear concise sentence when I want to.

36) I don’t believe in organized religion, I still believe in God.

37) I wish I still believed like I did when I was s kid.

38) I am out of things I want to say………

39) I am sure that there are things I should say…………

40) I used to be afraid of storms, now I love them.

41) I am always afraid that I have bad breath.

42) I smoke and know that I shouldn’t.

43) I don’t shave my legs most of winter, I have convinced myself that I will be warmer this way.

44) Frozen coffee’s rock.

45) I love my parents no matter their issues.

46) I cant believe we actually were able to get Kaylee what we wanted this year since I took the two months off.

47) I am not sure if I want another kid, but at the same time I tell myself that I do. I don’t think that it would be good right now though.

48) I am scared to drink, that I will get really sick again and end up in the hospital.

49) I really did pull my groin muscle I cant cross my legs.

50) Hmmm I think this is the end… for now.

Guess this is a monthly thing.....

2007-11-26T22:27:00.000-05:00

Well I guess I am not posting as much as I would like, the days just seem to fly by. I cant believe that it is my birthday today, I received so much love and the greatest gifts. THANKS EVERYONE! I had a pretty good Thanksgiving, a lot of good food. It seems that in the last month or so I have forgotten to update about Abby. Things went pretty well, the echo showed that her heart was perfectly normal, thank god! But the doctor, "M" sent her to Hurley, we were there for three days (two) nights, they ran more test, everything came back normal. Wonderful! But why wont she can weight? So they increased her calories so when we mix the formula instead of 8 scoops to 16 ounces we mix 9. So a week and a half later she was at 10lbs5ounces from her 9 pounds 6ounces at the hospital. Yeah, a whole pound almost. And she feels like she is gaining more. But in the pictures you cant really tell. She is fuller in the face, and her legs and arms are more bulky. We don't feel like we will break her when we pick her up.

This is pre-increased calorie

This is two weeks after the increased calories
Yeah I dont really see a lot of difference but to pick her up you can tell she has gained weight. The new pediatrician that we are seeing started her on Zantac. It is working great! No more endless screaming, she is happy to be in her bouncer or swing. And we got on of those bumbo's (THANKS MOM!). I hope that everyones holiday season started off well and continues to be well!

2007-10-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

What a weekend...

Well Friday morning we took our dear tiny Abigail to the family doctor that the rest of us see, we will call her "M". We are very concerned that she just doesn't seem healthy, she seems so frail and tiny. We don't want anything to be wrong, but we just feel something is not right. After two previous doctors looked at her and said "It's just colic, she will gain weight". Well we took her to "M" anyway. Well little miss Abby weighed 9lbs7.7oz at birth, she currently weighs 9lbs10oz. so "M" looks her over real good, she is worried about the dusky look around Abby's mouth, says her heart is beating a little to fast for her age, her head control and tracking is a little delayed. Finally someone who sees what we see without us telling "M" what to look for. She gave us just what we wanted, a referral to a different pediatrician and an 830 am consult with a pediatric cardiologist Monday morning. He is going to do an echo just to make sure her heart is okay. The nice thing is we were told that we wont have to wait for the results of the test he tells you right there what he sees and if everything is good. I have to imagine that is a huge relief to not have to wait. So that is were we are heading Monday morning, Kaylee is staying down at the grandparents and we are leaving at 545 in the morning. "M" sent us for some blood work Friday morning a TSH, Blood sugar, and a CBC. Then I guess she called doctor "O" ( the pediatrician) and told him about the referral and the labs. So at 4pm Friday afternoon, "M"'s office calls and tells us that he is very concerned about her weight and that he wants us to take her to WB ER and then probably be transferred to Covenant, and that they will call the ER and let them know why we are coming. Well we do our part and drive Abby into WB ER, but they have no clue why we are there well 4 hours later and the stupid ER unable to track down any doctor that might have a clue what is going on, we come back home. So frustrating... anyways I guess its a good thing because on saturday we did the community Trunk or Treat. We decorated our trunk ( well hubby did)
;
What a lot of fun Kaylee had. Hubby and her dressed up to match!
There was free chili and hot chocolate, and a small bonfire. Kaylee came home with a nice batch of candy and a coupon for a free kids meal at the new restaurant here in town. So today we went there for dinner tonight and it was really good food. I would compare it to Max and Erma's downstate, but right here in our little town of St. Helen.

So we are a little anxious about tomorrow but we are pretty sure that everything will be fine, we just want to find out if there is anything wrong and why she isn't gaining weight. I will hopefully be able to come home and say that her heart is just fine, now lets move on to the next possible cause and rule that out!

Hmm should I come back?

2007-10-09T22:37:00.000-04:00

No on really reads on here anymore, and I guess it doesn't help that I haven't posted in forever and my last post said that I would be using my space. But a good friend of mine who also uses my space has decided to use blogger so I thought maybe I would come back. My baby monkey butt is getting so big! She is almost 2-1/2months old, she is about 12lbs and she is 24 inches long! It has been such an interesting experience having another child. Okay well this is going to be very short and sweet just putting a feel for anyone who might still stop by!

2007-06-13T22:00:00.000-04:00

Ok so its not that I haven't posted in a long time but yes yes it is but i update on my space now. I don't like it better I just have and easier time keeping in touch with more people that way. So if you want to get updates check out my site here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=46789535

I have never had a post this long!

2007-04-30T23:12:00.001-04:00

Ok so I haven’t posted anything worth reading in awhile and I am sure this is not going to be much different. I did finally take pictures for all my long distance friends which is everyone. I missed week 23 so this is week 24. I have been really busy at work, like an “I really don’t ever want to go back and go through that again”. I guess I feel worse for the patients since when we are that busy they don’t get great care. You end up prioritizing, like first which patient do you see first, then depending on how each patient is doing who really needs all your time. I had a really bad night out of the six ruff nights. I had a patient that had had a simple laparoscopic procedure to remove adhesions on Friday night. These patients are supposed to go home within one hour after their procedure. The doctor decided to let her stay for increased pain. Well through that first night it was typical first night post op issues. By Saturday she wasn’t getting much better through the day, Saturday night, my shift, I almost lost her. Now this was two Saturday’s ago and I still feel horrible although I know that I did everything with in my power to make sure she made it. I was honestly on the phone with the doctors every hour. At 3 am I finally convinced the doctor to order a CT scan, only to find out at our 80 bed hospital that our CT is down the parts won’t be in till Monday. So I tell the doctors this and they say to monitor her (what the hell had I been doing all night, not monitoring her?) At about 5 am I was on the phone with the doctors and saying “No you need to get in here NOW and take her back to surgery”. Well she ended up having a perforated bowel, I knew that this was probably the case my midnight shift coordinator knew that this was probably the case, its just trying to convince the doctors that this was the case. Now there really was a lot more going on, little details and such that I wont go into all with this story but to give you an idea of how bad this really was after her second emergency surgery to fix her perforated bowel (which sorry I will go back for all that really don’t know what that is, perforated bowel can happen many ways i.e. from a colonoscopy, laparoscopic procedures, sticking things up your butt that don’t belong there. Get the picture? When it happens on its own it is usually a rupture, so in this case, laparoscopic, it is a perforation.) She ended up septic since her bowels had all Friday night and Saturday to leak out into her gut. She ended up with a hug incision down her abdomen, with a wound vac (a really cool machine that is a sponge in the wound hooked up with a tube to suction and it sucks all the excess fluid you don’t want in there out, in this case all the infected body fluids in her gut). A NG tube sucking all the stuff out of her stomach and gut to let her bowels rest. A central line which she was getting her TPN (nutrition) through. She ended up on a ventilator, sedated and paralyzed for about a week. I feel like shit, she is young, this shouldn’t have happened. I keep rethinking what could I have done different? And honestly with out the doctors picking up their part, nothing, there is nothing else I could have done. I still feel like crap. Her husband actually came over to the day nurses and thanked them for all we had all done. I don’t know what we did we did. I haven’t been this down in a long time, I know that eventually I will get over it but for now I feel like crap and its not a self pity its really a how can I handle this if it happens in the future to another patient and I cant think of anything. This leads me to the thinking that nothing is really in our control. I still really worry that something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy; I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t like to think that way but just knowing the odds. But then I think that if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Things are going wonderfully. On the 16^th on May I go for another ultrasound. I get really anxious about these things, I mean if something is wrong at this point the ultrasound will show it. But things feel right, she is kicking up a storm Chuck and Kaylee got to feel it and you can see my stomach jump! It is amazing, I am still trying to cope with o the fact that we have another little life coming into this world, please God don’t let us f*** this up. We are really happy that we moved somewhere Kaylee fits in. She likes the kids up here, she actually has friends that come over and she goes over there. She is on the little league softball team. Today was her first practice; she actually hit the ball 4 times! She had never even swung a bat before. She just needs to learn team work and that she can let someone else get the ball especially if the ball is in left field and she is in right! She will have two practices a week Mondays and Wednesdays from 4:30 till 6pm. This weekend we will be going to Dunham’s to get her gear. Cleats, pants, helmet, bat. I will take pictures on my little ball player with her softball team shirt when she gets all decked out with all her gear! There was this one girl on the team, we will call her K. K is this 8 year old that kicks a** at this game. She hit almost every pitch she can throw the ball from the catchers position to center field. I told Kaylee to pay attention to her, she could learn a lot. We have high hopes for our daughter meaning that we know she can do it if she wants to but if her hearts not in it then she wont. I just hope she keeps “really really liking it”. Ok the bathroom. This project was not really supposed to take this long in my head! I really didn’t have any idea how long it would take but I didn’t think it would take this long. Its no ones fault, well ok it is the guy who originally build this house since he built it so stupid. But it is starting to take shape and by tomorrow at 4pm I will be able to take a shower in my own house with no plastic on the walls and be able to see my pretty new liner with the awesome window that is in. I can’t wait till it’s done because next we build the babies room! I can’t wait! Oh and for all that know me like really know me you know that I never ever plan more that a few months ahead well I am working on planning a road trip with Chuck Kaylee and Abigail out to AZ next summer. I will be getting a weeks worth of vacation to use and with the help of some cleaver request off days to make it that I work a mon, teu, wend, then request off thur, fri, sat, and sun. Take my weeks worth of vacation mon, teu, wend, thur, fri, sat, sun, request off mon, teus, wed, and thur and work fri, sat, sun. That would be a sweet vacation. That would be 15 days! It is really nice only working 3 days a week and if I request off the days early enough I shouldn’t have a problem getting it done that way. I guess the big deal about that would be gas prices and getting someone who knows what to do with our ferrets to watch them, with some compensation and a play pen so that when they are let out of their cage in their house it wouldn’t be all over the place but in a controlled area. But I really want to get out that way before too long. Thinking more currently this summer seems to be pretty exciting my parents are supposed to come up and we are supposed to go camping and canoeing and just enjoy nature and then we are supposed to go over by Petoskey with Chucks parents to “camp” well there is a casino over there so they would probably spend a lot of time there while we did fishing and stuff. I am so excited that since we have moved up here and even with having all this financial stuff going on we can still afford to do things. When we living down state, we didn’t really get to do anything, especially not plan a vacation (that if doesn’t happen summer 2008 will happen 2009). Well that is a lot longer of a post than I expected so I am stopping now. Ok now.

hmmm

2007-04-24T22:15:00.000-04:00

Not really feeling in the mood to type but I guess I should update! Nothing much is going on, our bathroom is finally starting to take shape we still have a lot of work to do on it and then we need to build the babies room. I cant believe I will be 6 months next Tuesday. I am getting so geeked but anxious it seems time is flying by and I am afraid that there will not be enough time to get the bathroom done and then the babies room. Although logically I know there is plenty of time. I know I have to take pictures tonight for my 23 weeks but I really don't feel like it so you will all just have to deal. Not that pictures of my belly are the highlight and all. Maybe I will take some this weekend when I will have a working shower and I can feel all refreshed without having to go to my in laws to take a shower. We have decided on a name her name will be Abigail Nicole Brace! It all seeming so real now. I know it was always real but I just cant stop thinking that oh my gosh in a few more months we will have another child, how is this all going to play out? Ugh sometimes I worry others I am just completely happy. Kaylee is growing up so fast she is just an amazing kid she really is. I am so proud of her she is her own little person and is finally showing to me that she is responsible and can make good decisions. I think I have decided that I like living up here but I really miss all our friends downstate. I dunno I mean its great up here with Chuck and Kaylee but I think we need some variety not of the in law kind! I mean I love that they are here and we get to see them and i know Chuck is just as excited when we visit with my parents but, just some other people our age that don't just want to argue about the government. Well I think I will do a short post went I finally take some pictures and post them. I did post new ones of Kaylee, we have been having great weather up here so she has been outside a lot.

Quick question...

2007-04-08T22:37:00.000-04:00

Ok so we just watch Empire Records, one of my all time favorite movies ever. To all my few readers here on blogger which character do you fit in this movie? Oh and check out my FERRETS!! (On my flickr!)

"Well it is definetly a hamburger down there!"

2007-03-29T23:13:00.000-04:00

So I had my ultrasound today, they did a regular one and then a 4D one. The 4d ultrasound was really neat and the pictures dont show how cool it really was. It amazes me how detailed it was! They checked everything they possibly could, the heart is great the spine is great everything is developing normally for a 19w2d old! We told Kaylee today, she was so geeked that she was going to be a big sister, she is just really bummed that she has to wait till August. And of course my darling daughter is sick, again, the temp is back and the headache is back. So of course this means to the doctor we go!

Inappropriate but who cares its funny!

2007-03-20T19:23:00.000-04:00

Found here: http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=213

Oh my good ness

2007-03-16T20:44:00.000-04:00

Ok this is not going to be long no big deal, no one reads here anymore. But my daughter is actually pretty good at catching and throwing. Tomarrow she had her softball clinic. She is so geeked. Her dad took her shopping today to get a glove. I am so proud of her no fear of the big white ball coming at her.
On another note I LOVE this site... http://www.darwinawards.com/. Ok see short and sweet.

Ugh

2007-03-07T16:53:00.000-05:00

So I think I hate my life right now, all this hormone crap sucks I want to cry then laugh then cry some more and then I just want to freaking kill someone. Work is a joke lately. So what happens when you have anyone licensed in the medical field LPN or RN and you catch them point blank fraudulently charting their assessments, over and over and over? I am talking fresh surgery patients lung sounds, bowel sounds and circulation here. So my manager tells me to write her up so I have three times. I care for two reasons, first and foremost the patient. These patients come in willingly or not to have surgery, to be treated by professionals to expect the best care they could possibly hope to have. These are people's lives this is their limbs and bowels and lungs that matter. I mean that is why there is nurses right? We are supposed to be there for the patient to monitor them to make sure that everything is going good. There are exceptions where the unexpected happen and unfortunately some people are to sick that no matter how well they are taken care of they pass or have life changing events. Secondly since I am the RN and she is the LPN it is not only her license that she is jeopardizing by charting that she has done her assessments when she doesn't do them all night. Per her patients, because since my license is involved here and the patients life and well being I now ask all her patients specifically if she has done her assessment on them, she just comes in the room introduces herself and gives them their pills. That's it. No listening with her stethoscope, no checking their limbs or stomach that they just had surgery on. And what bothers me is that she has been a nurse for more than 20 years. Now don't take this as I am saying that all LPNs are this way. I work with some excellent LPNs, just not this one. I generally believe that it doesn't matter RN or LPN it just so happens that in this case the woman I have a problem with is an LPN. If it was an RN doing the same thing I would care just as much for the patients sake, but I tend to not follow behind the other Rn's and ask all their patients about their care since you can generally tell when someone is not doing their work, for example;
1) They start their assessment's after you, you start at 8pm they start at 9pm but they are done by 930pm. You are not done till 11pm.
2) The patient has to put their call light on three times before they go in the room to give them the pain medication that they have asked for already three times.
3) They disappear for hours from the floor and when you assist their patients to the bathroom or with a drink of water you notice that their dressing is completely saturated and falling off.
4) You know that intake and output totals are done in the morning around 5am but at 1am the patient with the foley says he really needs to pee but his "nurse' told him to just let it go since he has a foley. Upon assessment he is found to have a kinked sat upon foley, post unkinking and movement of the catheter the bag fills up like it is catching the freakin Niagara Falls of Westbranch.
Now I work in a union hospital. So the correct chain of command or whatever paper trail they tell you to follow needs to be done, so like I said I have written her up the three times that this has happened, and keep in mind I have only worked with her three times. She calls off all the other times she is supposed to work, damn FMLA that is another post at another time. So what does my fine union say? Well the patients statement is null and void if they had received any narcotics. Okay it is a surgical floor, who the hell doesn't get narcotics after surgery? So she gets to keep on not doing her assessments and I get to keep on doing double my work to follow behind and do the assessments. I am wondering if maybe I should report her directly to the state? But per my union that is not my part of the paper trail. Funny I have read so many articles in my nurses journals about nurses loosing their licenses for much less that falsely documenting. So why is my union protecting her? Who knows, all I know is I think she needs to be reported to the state. She should not be practicing nursing, well she doesn't do that either, she shouldn't get to pretend to do her job. I shouldn't have to do double mine and only get paid my salary and not hers as well.

2007-03-02T14:37:00.000-05:00

This is what I am thinking about doing, but of course that means about another 30,000 in debt. Time, stress, but I think I really want to do it. It would be through http://nursing.msu.edu/msnurse_courses.asp and it is all online. The only problem I have is that the courses are only available in specific semesters. I dont know if I could do it though. I would have to really apply myself. Now dont take me wrong, I aplied myself to nursing school but I didnt study or apply all I could have. I am sure if I had applied myself fully I could have gotten 4.0's but I did only what I needed to do to pass. Horrible isnt it? Anyway now would be different I have a good job that I work three days a week and pick up only if I want to so I would have time. Chuck is home to take care of Kaylee (+ one on the way), cleaning, cooking and I mean he is trying to get a job he has definetly applied but nothing at this point so now might be a good time to further my education? Oh and the appliying process and the stress of being accepted. I am just cant decide at this point I have lots of thinking to do.
Nurse Practitioner Concentration

NUR 801: Advanced Professional Role
NUR 803: Conceptual and Theoretical Frameworks
NUR 805: Pathophysiology for Advanced Practice
NUR 807: Clinical Decision Making
NUR 809: Pharmacology
NUR 810: Issues in Community-Based Care
NUR 815: Research and Evaluation for Advanced Practice Education
NUR 820/830/850: Health Assessment
NUR 821/831/851: Primary Care Management I
NUR 822/832/852: Practicum I
NUR 823/833/853: Primary Care Management II
NUR 824/834/854: Practicum II
NUR 841: Healthcare Policy in Perspective

On another note, nothing much is going on. Go figure right? Kaylee is doing good in school she has entered a reading "contest" at the public library, she reads books and then rights a short summary and at the end of the month she will be enetered into a drawing for a 50 dollar gift certificate. She is ecited she was the very first person to sign up yesterday. On the 17th of this month she has softball clinics, she has decided that she wants to play so we, me and Chuck, decided that it would be ok we are just worried about broken bones. She has had plenty of those already! We still have not told her about me being pregnant. Still scared that things wont work out. Things are going good my sugars were doing ok and now they are doing some pretty funky things like jumping up for no reason in the middle of the day when i hadn't eaten in 8 hours and then other times bottoming out over and over night or day. The 29th of this month I go down to Saginaw for a more "advanced" ultra sound my doctor says. It is one of those new 3-d ones. I am excited actually and they told me to ask for pictures so when I get them I will scan them in and post them. I am also excited because we will find out the sex of the baby! I cant wait, plus I will be 19weeks almost 20 then and then that means it is halfway through and hopefully that means less risk of problems. Right now you can not really tell I am preganat only when I am lying on my back with my shirt up. All my fat moves out of the way that way! I can feel it though meaning like a hardened rock in my gut that right now is causing me heart burn like crazy! No that is ok I dont mind. All that know me know that all I ever wanted was to get pregnant again. I have been thinking of starting to take weekly pictures to "show" my progress but I dont want to jinx anything! I like seeing what other people have done and how it shows the progress I think it is cute. Ok well I dont post often so I guess when I have an update on anything then I will so that is it!

Ok so I found this idea on another blog

2007-01-28T13:23:00.000-05:00

I thought this was really cool, go to wikipedia and type in your birht month and day (no year) It will bring you a list of things that happened on that day; events, birhts, deaths, and holidays. Here are a few that I thought were really cool for my birthday November 26th! ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/November_26 )

1) 43 BC - The Second Triumvirate alliance of Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus ("Octavian", later "Caesar Augustus"), Marcus Aemilius Lepidus, and Mark Antony is formed.

2) 1789 - A national Thanksgiving Day is observed in the United States as recommended by President George Washington and approved by Congress.

3) 1842 - The University of Notre Dame is founded.

4) 1917 - The National Hockey League is formed, with the Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, and Toronto Arenas as its first teams.

5) 1941 - World War II: Attack on Pearl Harbor - A fleet of six aircraft carriers commanded by Japanese Vice Admiral Chuichi Nagumo leaves Hitokapu Bay for Pearl Harbor under strict radio silence.

6) In Basse-Terre, Guadeloupe, 1.5 inches (38.1mm) of rain fall in a minute, the heaviest rainfall ever on record.

7) 1976 - The Band play their final concert, dubbed The Last Waltz. One of the guest performers is Eric Clapton, whose band Cream also played their farewell concert on November 26, 8 years earlier.

8) 1987 - The very first World Wrestling Entertainment Survivor Series took place in Richfield, Ohio

And on my daughters birthday December 17th...

1) 283 - St Gaius becomes Pope.

2) 384 - St Siricius becomes Pope.

3) 1577 - Francis Drake set sail from Plymouth, England, on a secret mission to explore the Pacific Coast of the Americas for British Queen Elizabeth I.

4) 1903 - The Wright Brothers made their first powered and heavier-than-air flight in the Wright Flyer at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.

5) 1969 - Project Blue Book: The USAF closes its study of UFOs, stating that sightings were generated as a result of 'A mild form of mass hysteria, Individuals who fabricate such reports to perpetrate a hoax or seek publicity, Psychopathological persons, and Misidentification of various conventional objects'.

Well Holy Shit I got it to work again.

2007-01-27T22:14:00.000-05:00

So my blog is really messed up, it tells me to sign in with my google account email to access this blog but I have to use my sbcglobal address in the google spot, whatever so now that it has taken me months and months to post I am probably forgotten by all that used to stop by here but I can still post my thoughts and if someone reads them great if not then oh well! The moce up here to St. Helen was tuff you know way back in October but it has smoothed out and things are going great. My new job is different, not what I was used to at all. I have much more responsibility than I ever did at my old job. I have actually even been charge a few times. Still a lot we have to do to the house like we havent even started on anything we want to do I am sorry we took a piece of panelling off the bathroom wall, that is where we want to start since it is the smallest room so hopefully the easiest? Probably not, but it will be fun. We still do not have cable and we have been watching all of our movies not only once but twice and some even three times. We have started to frequent the only game stop up here and seem to be buying out their used DVD section. It is great actually 3 movies for 20 bucks cant beat that. So I hope everyone, if anyone stops by anymore, is doing great!

2006-10-19T12:15:00.000-04:00

I can not believe it has been so long since I have posted. I just lost track of time. Worked lots of overtime, got a house, got a new job, planning our actual "move" dear me it is just so much. My duaghter is upset with me becasue I told her it was time to find someone to take the snake. We love the snack but there is something with the cage like the heating pad and bowl of water (mold possibly) that sets her allergies off. Not like that reason means much to her but it realitly with the ferrets and the cats and her allergies I just dont think we are providing the right environment for the snake. So hopefully Joe's friend Larry is going to take him. I will probably get back into the posting after we move and get everything set up.

Holy Shit

2006-09-04T08:39:00.000-04:00

I can not believe this Steve Irwin the crocodile Hunter is dead. It is so sad, I can not believe it. But according to the article he died doing what he loves best. My condolences for his family,wife and for his kids.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060904/ap_on_en_tv/obit_irwin

No new news

2006-08-31T12:47:00.000-04:00

Well nothing new go figure right? Well we went on our "vacation". It was wonderful! We went canoeing then we went up to (I can not spell this) soo locks and camped. visited three casinoes which are mostly kid friendly now, they have like kid care areas for a minimal cost to watch your kid while you go out on the floor. I didnt think that there would me any kids there but there was a lot. Then I think we have decided, Chuck and I, that we are going to move up north to St. Helen. We looked at a few houses while we were up there and are going back up in two weeks to look at more. I have applied at the two hospitals up there for a job. I think we are really going to do it. Ok I know we are. We can not stay here finacially. I am excited. Anyway I posted pictures of our vacation look at them see how cute my family is!

hmm need an update

2006-08-16T12:15:00.000-04:00

well not much is new. The truth or dare kinda phizzed out but that is ok. I am excited my best friend in AZ called yesterday she says she is doing good wich is great becuase she is pregnant with twins, with a little on that is still really young. She will have her hands full but she invited me to come out in february. I would love to so I hope that I can save up money to go and help her out and visit. I have to do to a mandatory meeting today at work which sucks because it is my day off but it is mandatory. Not much else is new for me we are leaving in a couple days to go hang out up north with my husbands parents should be fun we are going to go canoeing ad do some fishing. Maybe we could find a place to go ride horses I think kaylee would like that.

Cont. truth or dare

2006-08-01T16:53:00.000-04:00

Ok so this kinda hit off great between me and Joe and Chuck so I am inviting everyone that could possibly stop by this site to join in. In response to Joe's last comment of the first truth or dare post, I will take a truth or dare from anyone. But it has to be a dare that could be complimented by a picutre posted here. If you get dared then you can email me the picture and I will post it here on the site. You all can truth and dare each other as well. Ok so hmmm GO!

stolen from Joes SIte..... Ok I went a little overboard!!!!

2006-08-01T16:31:00.000-04:00

Candy Cigarettes

You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your Pirate Name Is...

Cannibal Firecrotch

What's Your Pirate Name?

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"She's a lover, baby, and a fighter
Shoulda seen it comin' when it got a little brighter
With a name like "Dani California"
Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya
A little loaded she was stealin' another breath
I love my baby to death"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Gettin' humped at the pump

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

You Are Trinity

"Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again."

What Superheroine Are You?

hmmm tricky dick?

2006-07-29T11:05:00.000-04:00

You Are Most Like Richard Nixon

Oh sure, you give people plenty of reasons to call you "Tricky Dick."
But you're actually quite diplomatic, even though you secretly hate your enemies.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Wow

2006-07-23T21:36:00.000-04:00

It is really time for an update but unfortunately I have nothing to post about. Me, Chuck and Kaylee and my parents have enjoyed Crosswinds Marsh http://www.waynecounty.com/parks/cwinds_park.htm
these last few weeks. We have taken long walks and tried to go canoeing but they were "closed" when we tried. Oh well there is an eagles nest that with binoculars you can make out and outline. And of course got a few good pictures of Kaylee
Anyway so for all the three at the most people that read this site Lets play like a truth or dare but without the dare or with the dare with pictures to prove it! Wanna try? Leave a truth or dare!

2006-06-27T08:41:00.000-04:00

Well I guess I could follow suit and post x= amount of things about myself.
1 I love to watch cartoons.
2 I am scared to eat new things in fear that it will make me sick.
3 I am pretty sure that I have no clue how to save money.
4 I hate were I work.
5 I am a loner, I only have two close friend (excluding my husband).
6 I love my daughter and want to give her the world but sometimes she makes me so angry I can not talk.
7 I havent been to the doctor for almost a year, I am supposed to go every three months.
8 I dont feel that I have a purpose in life.
9 I feel that I am not doing anything productive.
10 I forgot my husbands birthday once and I will always feel guilty.
11 I dont think I make my husband happy.
12 I would love to have a farm and get up at the butt crack of dawn to take care of it.
13 I wish I made enough money to help my parents out.
14 I am not sure what to do with our living place, meaning should we stay here or move.
15 I want to travel, everywhere.
16 When I was skinny I always wanted to be fat just to fell what it wasl ike. No that I am fat I hate it.
17 I miss my family. We dont speak anymore.
18 I want to see the ocean for longer than an day.
19 I feel bad that my daughter has no friends to play with over sumer.
20 I dont always talk to my husband about my feelings.
21 I should tell my husband about my feelings.
22 I work my ass off for work and come in most of the time when I am supposed to be off and they dont appreciate it.
23 I am afraid to drink. Once it put me in the hospital with DKA.
24 I wish there was some one or something that told me what I am supposed to do with my life.
25 I wish I was southern so that I would have an accent.
26 I never vote. I dont think it matters.
27 I dont think my in-laws like me. They blame me for all the mistakes me and chuck have made.
28 My step father was an alcoholic.
29 When he died my mom remairried my dad.
30 I love being outdoors.
31 I love swimming. I like being in the water.
32 When I was litte I always pretended that I was a mermaid.
33 When I was a kid I always daydreamed that the president or someone rich and important would atopt me from my parents.
34 I used to go to school that I could walk over the hill behind my house and I had a dog that stayed outside, I was always afraid that a tornato would come and take her away.
35 I hate that my sister in law can stay home with her kids and I have to work all the time.
36 I get jealous that my husband gets to stay home with kaylee adn he doesnt even appreciate it.
37 I suck at house work.
38 When I was 15 I was driving my friends car and he was in the passenger seat, we were going up to ren fest and I hit the car in front of us he slid over and took the blame. I payed him 95 dollars for the ticket.
39 I want to go out and have a night of crazy I dont remember in the morning fun.
40 I love my husband, we have been together for 8-9 years and married for 3.
41 NO one thought I would make it as anything since I had kaylee so young.
42 I hate all melon excpet water melon.

Ok so I can only think of 42 things to post. Maybe if I think of more I will continue at some other time.

2006-06-13T16:15:00.000-04:00

I have added a new link in my list it is fun, it will make a slogan out of any word you type in. For example I typed the word "Crap" and the slogan was "Snap, Crackle, Crap!" So enjoy all....

2006-06-13T13:53:00.000-04:00

Ok so I havent posted lately, not much to post. I been feeling kinda down and I dont really want to post any "oh poor me crap" on here anymore. My parents and I are not talking anymore. We stopped by their house a few weeks ago while Kaylee was in school and we all got into a big fight. My mom pushed my buttons for the last time. Well she called for some reason, I dont answer their calls anymore, but my dad lost his job. I feel bad. I dont know what they are going to do. I want to help in some way but then I have to step back and remember that they are adults and that there really isnt anything I can do. I still havent answered any of the calls. I just do not want to talk to them. Or really just my mom. I miss my dad unfortunetly I just dont get to talk to him becasue of my mom. Oh well hopefully it will get better later. For now I am just sending some money in a fathers day card.
Kaylee had her principles breakfast today it is for students that have made good advances in school. I was so proud of her. Tommarow is her last day of school. She is so excited. They sent home a summer pack, there is a sheet of work for each day of school and then they turn it in when school starts again. So hopefully she will get it done this summer. Kinda wierd I dont remember public schools sending home so much work. Oh well it will do her good.
Brendans wedding is this saturday. I can not wait to go. I am so happy for them I will post a couple of pictures next week. Kaylee is excited too she got a new dress to wear, we found it at target on the clearnace rack for 3 bucks! It is awesome, you will see it next week when I post it.

Just a question to put out there:
What sexual activity do you like the most and hate the most?
I like fondling the most and wrestling, unfortunetly I hate BJ's the most. I can not figure out why. I feel bad I mean I just dont like giving them. Maybe I need to see someone about it. Anyone else not like giving them? Or am I just a messed up non-BJ giving girl? Anyone have anytips about starting to get over my dislike?

My week off

2006-06-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

This has been a great week off. While Kaylee was at school me and Chuck spent most of our time playing Super Mario Sunshine. A very addictive game. It started out I had my own game and he had his then we kinda merged and just took turns playing one game. With my awesome wall jumping skills and his strategy we are almost finished with the game. Plus we know where 3 life one ups are so we have like 57 lives.
Kaylee was supposed to have a field trip to the zoo this last Friday and that got bumped to Thursday because she had field day. So I chaperoned, I showed up on Thursday and they are like oh it is next Thursday, the 8th. Now our new sheet had said the 1st. So I feel like a complete idiot. And now that it is next Thursday I will not be able to go because I work that day.
Do you remember field day? I do I hated it. I hated racing, I was so tall and skinny that I didn't go very fast or far. I usually fell within 5 steps. Kaylee said she had fun though which is good. She said she hated the races, and the potato bag race, but loved the water balloon fight and tug of war. Wait a minute why didn't we ever get to do a water balloon fight? I think the schools have just made it into a more fun day than field day. I remember having to run five laps and do an obstacle course and sprint race, and jump rope and it was all very serious you had these little score cards and then there was ribbons, very competitive. I am glad that Kaylees wasn't that competitive because she gets her feelings hurt very easy. The night before I was telling her, don't worry if something is too hard just do your best to finish. Trying to be a good mom and all, and when she got home she was like "well I didn't win any races" I said "that's ok Hun, you tried and that is all that matters" then she said " I know I know but you should have seen me at tug o war!!". I was so proud of her. She really amazes me.
Yesterday we were playing catch with a fiber filed soft ball sized ball. Yes she missed a few catches but she has the best aim of a 7 year old. I tired to teach her how to throw right, meaning not to just stand there and only move her arms.
Hopefully we will get to go swimming today. We bought some pool toys for her to play with. She is getting better each time with swimming. She can make it from edge to edge.
Okay I will stop bragging now about my daughter I will just say she is GREAT!! Our crazy neighbor knocked on our door the other night. Ugh she wants us to watch her animals, which she has been telling us for a long time. She has one dog that she says must stay with us, not crated, ok he weighs like 10 pounds. Then she has 3 cats, two birds, and fish. But she says that she will pay us 200 dollars. That will be nice. Not that I want her dog over here but Jasper is not that bad.
Okay I don't have much of anything to write so,.. Later ~Peaj

The new

2006-06-01T20:37:00.000-04:00

Well my hubby helped me to revamp my web page! I tried to make my own header and messed up with the little text in the pictures. I can not even remember what they say so if you figure it out, go you, I can not offer any prizes. Hmm and my about me section kinda sucks anyone have any ideas of what to write there? Oh and if you really hate the pop up let me know and I can take the music off to get them to go so let me know if it really bugs you! ~Peaj

nothing much

2006-05-29T08:21:00.000-04:00

I have this song stuck in my head and it just seems fitting for right now in my life so I thought I would post it to help express my feelings. Hmm it is nice to get those out once in awhile.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]
(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

What the hell

2006-05-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, or maybe there is nothing wrong I don't know. As my friend at work says it is the mid 20's crisis. I don't know what I want to do with my life, well I mean from this point on. Okay with work I don't know if I should stay where I am and stay comfortable with that or do I want to get my masters in a field or even less than that go to a different floor, a different hospital? I just do not want to end up like some of the older nurses on my floor that are old and bitter and all they want to do is complain. But I like my floor, I like the people I work with , I like the patients. Ok well not all the patients, especially some families. Ok so here is a story from work of course names are omitted or changed because of the hippa law. This patient she is fairly young 50-60's. She came in with difficulty breathing and was found to have lung masses. Now this is bad news to hear so the entire and I mean entire family of like 45 people had to come and stay with her. Now at first this was wonderful for her to be surrounded by all those that you love and they love you but at a point enough is enough. When I had this patient she was to have a CT scan with contrast meaning that she has to drink this nasty contrast and then when she goes down they but a separate contrast through her IV. Well that morning I brought in her drinkable contrast and she had some other medication that I had to put through her IV. Everything went fine. They came to take her down for the test and about an hour later I get a call, her IV is no good, could I come down to restart it. Now it is well known that the IVs will always go bad when you send them to our CT area, it is just the curse of where I work. So I ask why no one down there can restart it, the response is it is Saturday and there are no nurses down there to try. This women is really hard to get an IV on. One she has no veins two she is so ridiculous that she will only let you try in a few spots. So I tell them to send her back up. Well now the family is pissed because she had to drink "that nasty stuff". Fine whatever that stuff is still in your body 6 hours later so I have 6 hours to try and get an IV. So I try, no luck, 3 other nurses on the floor try, no luck, I call anethesia up, no luck, I have 3 ER techs and the ER supervisor (come up, can you guess?) no luck. So this is frustrating the hell out of the family they ask Who's ever heard of a patient in the hospital with no IV access and how come I, yes you read that right I not us, me soley me, can not get an IV and this is all my fault. Now I called the doctor and she said that if no luck with the IV get a picc line I tell her it is the weekend and they do not place picc lines on the weekend how about a central line? The doc says no I argue the case again she still says no she wants a picc line. Fine I tell the family what the doctor says and again I get yelled at for how incompetent I am. At this point I am done I go to the charge nurse tell her what is going on and tell her that I will not go back in that room and that tomorrow I will not take that set. Well the charge nurse works 7-7 where I work 3-3 so she picks my set up after me hoping to smooth things over with the family. Well she calls the doctor and tells the doctor everything that is gong on and says a couple of things and somehow gets a order for a central line. Awesome I know the family is pissed at me but I am still happy that this women can have the test done. So the charge nurse works her butt off to get the surgeon to come up and put in a central line and it is all good where she can go down for the test without having to drink more of the contrast and the dumb brat refuses to go for the test. I mean what the hell. So therefore the family blames us now, all the nurses because we are "too stupid" to get this done. In school before we become nurses that this job is portrayed to us as wonderful. You'll be respected the families will recognize what we are trying to do. I mean I spend my whole shift and more trying to get this done for this family and when there are twenty of them circling you in the hall and screaming you feel as if you are about to get your ass beat and that there is no one that is going to help you.
On a different note we have a crazy person that keeps coming up to our floor and pretending to be a volunteer or an aide and tries to work on our floor. Within the last month we have had to have security come get her three times. Crazy people.
Ok off my rant back to my mid-twenties crisis. I have Kaylee I love my Kaylee. My Kaylee is the most beautiful, individualized child. But I don't want her to be the only child. Not much more I can do about this right now, all we can do is try. Then I want a dog, my whole life I have had dogs and I have had to get rid of them for this stupid place no they are allowing dogs but only 20-25 pounds. Bella the dog my mother has is too big :( But We have been looking into these: This is a Shiba Inu. I think they are the most beautiful dog. Okay then on to my mother. We are not talking. I have never been in a fight with my mother this bad but I am done I don't think I ever want to talk to her again. I don't want to go into what happened but she messed up big time and I don't think it will ever go away. This is hard for me I love my mom and not talking to my mom means not talking to my dad and I miss them. I just want my life to go right for once. Things are finally getting done at the apartment. Except that they are not calling before they come over so yesterday I was embarrassed because maintenance is knocking on the door with the painter and here I am in my Skimpy top and pj pants. Now for those that know me I am overweight so my little flab is hanging out and they are here. So they go back to the van for a few minutes to let me put on a different shirt and get the paint. So I call the land lord. I tell him how embarrassed I was and he says well I didn't know you were going to be home I thought you would be at work. Now how the hell can you make that assumption? I don't know I just needed to rant. Today we are going to go see Over the Hedge. Then maybe to the park if it is not water logged.

Thought this was neat

2006-05-13T16:55:00.000-04:00

http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

New vocabulary

2006-05-11T19:53:00.000-04:00

Well this week I learned two new phrases

Baby Batter causes a bun in the oven

and

Finger in the hole docotor is a gynecologist

I am further educated.

REALLY COOL

2006-05-02T09:40:00.000-04:00

Ok so I havent said really cool since freshman year of highschool, I think but I am just big enough of a dork that I probably say it all the time. But these beards are neat looking

BEARDS!

Past

2006-04-26T19:24:00.000-04:00

Since Joe is digging up the past with pictures I just wanted to butt in and post some but to make it easier for me and you, of course all for you guys, it is in my flicker account!

2006-04-23T20:14:00.000-04:00

I added a new link to my list of links. I like to visit this site once in awhile. She takes great pictures and it is fun to read check it out!

2006-04-22T16:25:00.000-04:00

Well we are back form our mini vacation. It was very relaxing. We left tuesday and got up there around 1-2pm. Didnt do much just hung out. Wedsnday we went fishing. We didnt catch anything. Thursday we went to Traverse City went to the beach and then to Turtle creek Casino. Kaylee got an escort to the cafe and then we took turns going out on the floor and playing. We won a bit which is better than loosing some. Friday we went to the Holiday Inn in Houghton Lake and went swimming and sat in the Hot tub and today we left and came home. Yeah so that is it in a nut shell. Then pictures that I posted in my Flicker account are from over those couple of days. The sun set is from last night at the lake, which is in walking distance from his parents house. Love it up there. We looked or really drove by a couple of houses. Saw a few that we liked a few that we didnt. Dont know what we are going to do. No big rush.

2006-04-14T14:47:00.000-04:00

Ok so things are not so bad. We went in today to get pre-approved, basically to see if I would qualify for a mortgage. I was terrified to find out my credit score. When the guy pulled my credit report it wasnt that bad. Not bad at all. So I am feeling pretty good about that. I also got my car refinanced through the bank so that payment is down by 60 dollars a month.Now we we'll just have to see if we can get the mortgage. ALso I need to get my resume up to the hospital there, that will be next week. Hmm everyone wish us luck.

2006-04-10T09:54:00.000-04:00

Ok well I somehow lost my flicker preview on my page so here is a link to my pictures until I can figure out how to get it back. http://www.flickr.com/photos/peajslife/

Guess I should update my post

2006-04-02T16:29:00.000-04:00

Ok well not much is new. Banking up overtime is nice, our bills are going down. Yeah that is all nothing new guess that isnt much of an update!

2006-03-27T16:53:00.000-05:00

Don't ask, I dont want to talk about it.
Don't tell me you care, I know you do, I dont.
Don't tell me you will help at all cost, I know your willing, I am not.
Don't tell me to be happy, I'm not and you saying that wont change anything.
Don't touch me, I dont feel loved.
Don't tell me you love me, you say it a thousand times has it changed?
Don't say it's worth it, how do you know?
Don't tell me that it will be ok, there is no guarantee.
Don't tell me it is ok to be sad, not now.
Tell me how to be happy, can you do that?
Tell me what I am supposed to do.
Tell me how to make my family happy, neither can I.
I can't think anymore, my mind is twisted.
I can't smile anymore, I swear it hurts.
I can not feel anymore, fix it, does it help if I say please?

random feelings that is all I am so sick of trying to figure out my own life. We can not get a head for anything. I kill myself for work I work 92-100 hours a week adn its not enough. How can that be ugh oh well. On a better note there is hope of getting to see Joe C. this week!! Oh and I am also starting my 12 hours on April 9th oooohh I am excited. Hmm that is all....

Well not much to say

2006-03-20T16:37:00.000-05:00

It is sad that i havent posted in a long time and I dont have much to say. I have been working a lot so hopefully my next check will show it. Joe and his mom came over yesterday to see the ferrets. That is pretty much all that has happened since I last posted. Kinda sad. I am excited I am not working this friday/sat/sunday but there is still nothing to do. I was hopeing that maybe Joe would be free but he has informed me that he is busy, maybe Kcinnamon but I just dont feel like dealing with her issues. Yea sad no one to hang out with. Maybe we will go to the movies we have gift cards from Chucks brother, but it would have to be a kid movie since we will have to take Kaylee. I just want to go out and do something that is adultish. But even when we have the chance wich is never we can never make up our minds on what to do. Yea sad, but the good thing is that then we dont spend money. But we still never seem to have any. Weird. I want to have a party or something, with adults not kids. Sheesh everything I do seems do be with kids, maybe it is time for kaylee to go out to my moms for a weekend. Still then all we do is sleep and watch movies that we have seen a million times. Ok that is my rant for now. On another note, My boss still has not had me sign my alternate work agreement I dont think she is really going to give me the 12 hour shift. Oh well I am not worried about that anymore like I just posted not that we would do anything on my days off.
We are thinking about what to do with our lives from this point on. This topic has beed on my mind a lot this weekI mean october is still far away but that is when our lease is up on our apartment and if they raise it anymore we can not stay here i already think we pay too much, we can not afford any houses around here. Ok so his parents live up in St. Helen the houseing is affordable up there there are houses that we like because we have seen them on visits, there are two different hospitals in the surrounding area that i could work at. One major issue is Kaylee do we want to move her again I mean she doesnt really have any friends around here. The next issue is my parents I mean I dont mean to be selfish but I dont want ot move that far away from them but I have asked Chuck to stay down here for me and we have so I dina feel that I shouldnt be selfish anymore. I wouldnt mind moving up there I mean there is 3 lakes right there great for water activities and in the winter there is snowmobiling. Lots of nature, things we like. We also wonder if Kaylee might fit in better up there. I dont know lots to think about. Ok well time to eat ~Peaj

Ok random thought time

2006-03-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

Listening to the radio on my way to work this morning and it seems that there are a lot of principles getting too involved in their students lifes such as; The principle that kissed his students feet for loosing a bet and more recently the principle that was caught in the gym kissing a students mother that is involved in the PTA. Both are on paid adminstrative leave. Do you think that this was enough of a "punishment" or that this action wasn't even needed?

Help

2006-03-08T17:00:00.000-05:00

Ok I need a new topic for my page, the present one is to depressing anymore, anyone have any ideas? I want one of those really cool, nice to look at pages but of course I have no clue how to do that.

2006-03-07T16:37:00.000-05:00

Ok so I am not what you would call a religious person, but I am a hmm spiritual person? I just do not like organized religion. I do not believe that God will view me different for mot showing up every Sunday to listen to a person that went to school to be a priest to read and explain what a passage in a book means and then be expected to "give God money". WHat does he need with it? I mean do these people that go to church not know how to read and understand what they read? Now I am not discrediting those who do feel that this is what they have to do that is fine. I can see that gettign together with others can be fun but that is not supposed to be the reason to go to church right? Anyway, I like the verse Footprints. I like what it has to say. My friend emailed me a different version, I liked it and wanted to post it so there!

FOOTPRINTS...A New Version
Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.
But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.
For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.
You and Jesus are walking as true friends!
This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.
Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.
This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.
Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.
This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.
You are amazed and shocked.
Your dream ends. Now you pray:
"Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You."
"That is correct."
"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely."
"Very good.. You have understood everything so far."
When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way."
"Precisely."
"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first."
There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.
"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.

So work is feeling like high school

2006-03-01T16:31:00.000-05:00

Ok so we have all these new restirctions at work now. It is a little weird. We are not allowed any incedental over time meaning we have to clock out at 330 or have our overtime, even 5 minutes meaning 335 approved. I am coming to the conclusion that our floor and hospital are a little low on money. Then today, my manager an idiot, has a meeting at the nursing station today. Our patient satisfaction on the floor droppped 2 percent from the previous day so she says "What are we losers? I mean this is not a winning number so you must be losers that what this drop in score means, right?" We all looked at her like she was a frickin idiot. That is not the way to encourage people. So later in the day I ask her about my 12 hour shifts, which were supposed to start next week. SHe says to me well not this next schedule because the 3 new orientees have not taken their boards and are still on orientation so probably apirl 9th you will switch. I said ok and started to walk away from her office so then for hte next 10 minutes she feels all bad and is trying to explain why and that she hopes I understand. Yea I understand she is a bunch of bull shit. I mean I can not wait to hear her excuse come april 9th.
Whatever I dont get all pissed off at that anymore. I mean I expect nothing more than that from her.
On another note we took Kaylee to Mak's birhtday party last night at Chuck e Cheese. Now she is broken out in hives all over her body, she must have found somthing that she was allergic too but there is so much it could have been. So benadry and cortisone cream, and oatmeal baths. Poor kid she is all itchy and sore. But she still had fun playing all the games. When she traded the tickets in the lady behind the counter tried to jip her out of 90 points I almost had to kick her ass, those damn pints cost too much money for her to just throw them away! But she traded in for a bouncy ball that lights up and some little plastic lizards, oh yeah well worth the fortunes it cost.

So today I am sad

2006-02-27T16:51:00.001-05:00

Does it really matter? I mean being happy or being sad? Maybe I am just really bored. Maybe I am pissed off that we can not get our heads up over this damn debt. Maybe because I feel it is all my fault~ I suck at saving money, I can not make my daughter happy, She has no friends, we moved her too much. Will she grow out of this, whatever it is and have friends? My car is broke, it runs, runs great but touch the lever for the lights and the steering column smokes, of course the car now has 51,000 miles and the warranty cut off at 50,000. Why did I convince Chuck to get that damn house, his mother blames me, I blame me, and I am sure he blames me. Why cant my job be enough that we dont have to worry about money? Was it worth going to all this schooling for what? To be thousands and thousands of dollars in debt? Will I ever get to have a real honeymoon? Will we ever be able to take Kaylee to far off cool places? Probably not. Will we be able to afford things for her like a car, college, her wedding? Hopefully, right now looking dim. She wants a brother or sister, nevermind the finacial but will we ever be able to have another child? What is wrong with me why am I so fucked up? Why do I have to take stupid medicine daily, why cant I get pregnant? Maybe it is someones way of telling me that it is not time but shouldnt that be our choice screw them and what they think is best. Ugh today is a sad, I hate you, poor me, baby me day. Work is sad. Everyone dies. Maybe I need a new floor maybe that would help but it is all depressing isnt it? I mean I only get to work with the sick and dying, or they wouldnt be at a hospital. Maybe nursing wasnt for me opps to late still have 16,000 more to pay for it. Okay now I feel better all that off my chest, thanks.

I'm sorry Bryan

2006-02-12T16:10:00.000-05:00

This is my public apology. You left a post forever ago in May 2005 and I never read it till know when I was going back through my posts from boredom. Unfortunetly I do not have AIM and I do not know you email and I can not post on your site so here is my apology and thanks :)

I must be...

2006-02-12T00:02:00.000-05:00

I must be the oldest 24 year old I know. Our neighbors here at the apartment are our age mostly, the ones across the hall, and upstairs there are two apartments one with teenagers and the other a couple our age. They like to party. Separately in their own apartments and then sometimes they each join each other. Regardless they are loud as hell, due to drunkenness. Now I could technically call the cops on the teenagers obviously because they are underage and the mom is home most of the time, and our other neighbors I am sure some noise ordinance law is there, but on the other hand I wish it was me. I wish I was hanging out and getting drunk and having fun so I don't do anything about it besides bitch under my breath. I think I get mad at the noise more when I have to get up early for work and for Kaylee. I mean these people party even through the week. Go them. I always feel like telling them to shut the hell up but I never do. But tonight it is midnight early for a Saturday right? Well my neighbor crazy Sheila across the Hall, the one who lets her 3 boys play soccer and basketball (somehow) in the freakin hallway at 3 am and is constantly out there smoking (opening and closing the damn main door), and is the only one with a dog in the building (who never stops barking) decides that she has "Had enough of this noise" and goes door to door of the three apartments looking for who it is and starts telling them off. It was kinda funny because we all know that she is the main source of noise all the time and that she is nothing more than a drunk and druggy. So you could basically hear every other person in the building laughing at her. But that is all apartment living and it would be great to hook up hidden cameras and sell this crap.
Me tonight, well, my parents came over. Which was nice because I haven't actually seen them in a few months. We had a nice dinner and played some cards, Kaylee watched a few movies and it went ok. Which is good because my mom and Chuck have this "we have completely different views and personalities" clash going on. But they handled themselves well. Kaylee has been sick though. Friday we were watching the Olympics Opening ceremony and Kaylee was sitting with me and I moved her bangs out of her eyes ( this drives me nuts and she refuses to do anything else with them except hang in her eyes) and her forehead was burning. So I tell Chuck to get the thermometer, I tell Kaylee to put it under her tongue and I am watching it 100~101~102~ it ends up at 104.6. My first instinct, which comes from work, is I tell Chuck to get me some bags of ice. Then it dawns on me that I can put her in the tub. So I run a room temp bath and she gets in. Now see when I was her age I ended up with double pneumonia and my mom put me in a room temp bath and I screamed and cried. My kid " Oh I love cold baths" is what she tells me. Which is great because with the bath plus the meds we have managed to keep her down and not any higher and 101. But my mother thinks "oh your a nurse, what is wrong with her?" Ok well lets see, she is 7, goes to school with other little kids that have no clue about proper hygiene in large groups. So I tell her that all I know is her throat is irritated, no spots, she says she has no pain anywhere so it is probably a viral infection. I must have sounded like I knew my shit because she dropped it after that. Thing is I was, and still am, worried out of my mind what is wrong with her. I had her sleep out in the living room so I could sleep by her and I am tonight as well. Not that I will have some sensor that tells me if she is spiking a temp, but I feel that if she needs me I will be right there. Plus I don't like her sleeping in her loft bed when she is sick. I am afraid one that she will be hurrying out of bed to get me or Chuck and she might fall. Plus if she has to barf and just wakes up to do it and it goes over and down from her loft bed....That is just not a mess I want to clean. Experience teaches well.
I am supposed to start twelve hour shifts in a few weeks. I am excited because that means only working 3 out of 7 days a week. Eights are nice but I just get to burned out working 5 days a week. Mostly when it is 5 in a row. Plus if Chuck gets a part time job we could alternate...Maybe. It is nice with him being home, but I think he needs to get out more often. Thank you to Joe and Rob you treated him to a night out and the next day I could tell that it did him good. The mood change was, well lets say wonderful 2 hours we have had in awhile. Didn't know you were marriage counselors huh?
I just got a great idea, I am going to do my laundry early tomorrow and slam the door each chance I get because the laundry room is right next to the partiers apartment, nah I will probably sleep in past them........

Oh yeah, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to everyone!

still like this site

2006-02-06T16:33:00.000-05:00

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0203062strip1.html

THought this was cute

2006-01-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

From todays Sunday news:
http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/

Thank you to all that helped me smile since my last post. Work was kinda comical today we had a patient that was petitioned (meaning that he is to go to a pysch hospital) dashed off, past the sitter, past the hospital staff, and down the stair well, out to the parking lot in a hospital gown and footies in the puddles and all. Security got him walked him back upstairs and now he is in restraints, in his bed, still with a sitter. Actually work these last two days has been pretty good.
My hubby let me come home and crash last night I almost slept for 12 hours. It felt so good. I think we are all a little run down. CHuck has been cleaning and cooking and Kaylee's had school. Well we now have the school social worker, pyschologist, her teachers, possibly her doctor and workign out a plan of sorts. It has come down to either she has some sort of attention deficite or she is bored with the work. Now see I hope she is just bored with the work 1 becuase then she is just smart and 2 it means that there isnt obviously a attention disorder. We are supposed to meet soon with the school. We had to fill out a survey at home that describes her behavior and yes we were honest so we will just have to wait and see.

Just one of those days...

2006-01-24T17:02:00.000-05:00

Well I am feeling down today. One of those I am going to cry at any moment days. Work has been kinda tuff a lot of my patients have either been doomed from birth and crap has just happened or they have attempted suicide. It just all builds up and it gets hard to deal with it day after day. Plus I dunno it is just that empty sad. That is ok though it will pass. Thanks for listening to my little rant for today.

I knew it!

2006-01-22T20:08:00.000-05:00

http://hedonistunrepented.blogspot.com/the Blowjob Myths Dispelled post.

So I lied

2006-01-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

Today I plain out lied to a friend or a person who used to be a really good friend. She called and said " Oh hey I am just leaving my parents house with the kids, was wondering if we could stop by". Well we were just sitting down to dinner so I told her that and she was like well ok we could still come over and I blurted out: "Kaylee is sick she has been throwing up and pooping and all". Well Kaylee was sick but she has been fine all weekend. I dont know maybe I'm still being stubborn about what she had Chuck drive her to a couple of months ago. Plus I really didnt want to deal with her non-disaplined ( ok I wrote that word like 3 times and I can not get it right)children. Do I feel bad? A little. Am I going to worry about it? No.

2006-01-21T09:12:00.000-05:00

Woo Hoo I finally got a flicker account lol!!!!!! SO now I can stop making all my posts show my favorite pictures lol.

2006-01-17T17:37:00.000-05:00

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

2006-01-16T19:33:00.000-05:00

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-William Jennings Bryan
US lawyer, orator, & politician (1860 - 1925)

Ok so I try to post a quote for what I am thinking and now I am thinking about do I go back to college for my masters and when do I do it? LOL I must be crazy thinking about it. When I was in school all I could think was getting out and workingm but do I really want to be a floor nurse my entire career? I dont know I mean I dont know what I would specialize in, I have only experienced geriatric med-surg. That leads me to another issue is when do I venture off my comfort zone and try another floor? I like my floor ok well I like the people that I work with. I dunno just one of those.

Ok well I guess I am tagged so here it is....

2006-01-15T19:14:00.000-05:00

Four jobs you have had:
Working for my parents at a small warehouse
Jets Pizza
Hostess at Denny's (for like a week)
Rn at Oakwood Annapolis

Four movies you could watch over and over:
Tuxedo
A little Princess
The Lost Boys
The Gooneys

Four places you've lived:
Southfield, MI
Westland, MI
Garden CIty, MI
Livonia, MI

Four TV shows you love to watch:
CSI: (The original)
Stargate SG 1
House
Mythbusters

Four places you've been on vacation:
Maine
Florida
Virginia
hmmm and um Ann Arbor?

Four of your favorite foods:
Taco's Love these
Spinach Pies
Ham cooked any which way
Baked potatoe with all the toppings

Four places you'd rather be right now:
Visiting places I have never been and probably wont ever be like:
Fugi
Bahamas
California
Colorado

Four sites I visit daily:
Various blogs: Joe C, Amy, Chud, Chuck, Laura, Rev, Stepho, James K just to name a few
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/home.asp
http://www.bmezine.com/index.html
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/Welcome.html

Four Bloggers you are tagging:
Let me think who is left?
Amy: http://chokingbitches.blogspot.com/ ?
Steph: http://www.actionfigurestepho.com/ ?
and maybe
Rev: http://www.compoundglory.com/rev/blog/ ? He got tagged with the other one
and lastly
Lish: http://alcadu.blogspot.com/

Children

2006-01-15T10:48:00.000-05:00

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
-P. J. O'Rourke
US humorist & political commentator (1947 - )

I love my daughter more than anything in this world but sometimes she just drives me nuts. But I guess that is why I love her so much.

Just have to get this off my chest....

2006-01-12T16:43:00.000-05:00

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(and this is meant for work)

I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.

-Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

laughed my fucking ass off....

2006-01-11T20:55:00.000-05:00

ok how many things can you list that you see wrong in this picture?

2006-01-11T20:27:00.000-05:00

funny link

2006-01-11T20:03:00.000-05:00

At least this guy tried:
http://www.davesdaily.com/outrss2.php?id=12471

Friendship...

2006-01-11T16:52:00.000-05:00

It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.

-Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 08-16-05

Quote for 1-9-06

2006-01-09T20:19:00.000-05:00

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.
-Robert Fritz

So I worked my overtime today and I ended up staying four more hours past 3 so yes obviously 7 so that was a total of 8 regular hours and 8 overtime hours in one day. Hope my paycheck shows the fruit of my labor lol.

That feeling is back

2006-01-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

No not that feeling that one is always here. I am tlaking about I am wanting a tattoo bad. I dont know maybe it is my version of binge drinking or something but I get this feeling and nothing can mke it go away unless I get a tattoo and not some simple quick painless one it has to mean something and the pain has to mean something, does that make sense? Maybe I will try a bottle of Jack.

Overtime!!

2006-01-08T17:12:00.000-05:00

Well I am finally getting the overtime that I was told I would get when I switched to 8 hour days, except I have to go in at 3 am and all. But overtime is overtime and Its not bad to have that added on to my check. My mangager was charge nurse this weekend. Oh my god. What a pain in the ass. She was on me for the stupidist things. She is such a kiss ass to the rest of the hospital and the patients. I mean if a patient killed me I am sure she would try her hardest to convince everyone else that it was my fault some how. I am just glad that I work every third weekend. We have been so busy I have been constantly either giving meds, changing dressings, giving blood, assisting doctors, or calling and gettign ordres from doctors. Twice now I didnt get a lunch. I end up eating inbetween running to patient rooms. I have been seriously thinking of switching hospitals; from Oakwood Annapolis to Botsford. I am just waiting to hear back from Botsford to ask about thier benefits. And then I have to find out from Oakwood if I have to pay back the 500 they gave me for my loan repayment. It all depends also if Oakwood fixes my insurance I pay for a triple option HMO Like 180 a month 90 a pay period but they cover less for example if I paid only 30 a pay and use an Oakwood doctor it is covered 100% but with the plan that I have I still have to pay 10% of everything. See that doesnt make sense to me I pay more for an insurance but I have to pay more out of pocket to see and Oakwood doctor. I just want to switch insurances that is all I asked them to do and save 120 (+ if I see a doctor) dollars a month. But they are telling me they have to look at it and think about it. Well if they wont and I have to pay back that 500 I think it might just be worth it. The only problem is I like the people I work with. I am not a big one for big changes. We will see. ALthough my manager being a bitch to me today doesnt help. But we all have those days with managment right?

Do you ever wish you could fix everyone? I dont know how to help a close friend who seems to be going through a tuff time. They seem down and just unagreeable with everyone. They are taking things that I do and say the completely wrong way and end up getting their feelings hurt but They are tkaing hat I say the wrong way but then you know when you try to fix it it seems that the hole just gets bigger and bigger. Maybe they just need some time.

I got an invitation to my best firends baby shower this Jan 15th. To bad she lives in AZ. LOL well I guess I can not go... LOL. But I bought her some things and I am going to ship it out. It wasnt anything particular that she registared for online but the things that I could buy online that she registared for were all really big items that cost like 150 or more. So we spent about 70 and got two outfits and accesories and some other cute things. She is due Feb 21st. I told her she better send me pictures and as soon as I get some I will definatly post them. I have to get a flicker bar I love to share pictures!!

Ok I am going to start at least posting a quote a day and I think that this is a good first on to post:
"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day."
Andre Maurois
French author (1885 - 1967)

Following suite....

2006-01-05T21:06:00.000-05:00

All these things that I've done

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When there's no where else to run
Is there room for one more sun
One more sun
If you can hold on
If you can hold on
Hold on

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know
No you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection no no no no
Help me out

Yeah, you know you gotta help me out
Oh, don't you put me on the backburner
You know you gotta help me out
Yeah

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more sun
These changes aint changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be
Yeah, you know you gotta help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you gotta help me out, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul but I'm not a soldier
I got soul but I'm not a soldier
I got soul but I'm not a soldier
I got soul but I'm not a soldier

Yeah, you know you gotta help me out
Yeah, don't you put me on the backburner
You know you gotta help me out

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in
Last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I have done
Time kills hearts
If you can hold on

Its a new year

2006-01-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

Well it is a new year and I am trying to well I dunno what I am trying to do. I didnt make any new years resolutions. Maybe I will make some now hmmmm I dunno any suggestions? I have been trying to still get rid of this stupid cold which has made me cranky and tired. So in a sense maybe that is my resolution lol.

So sick of being sick

2005-12-29T20:14:00.000-05:00

Well I had hoped that this cold/sinus infection/whatever the hell this is would be gone by now. I went to the doctor the other day and he gave me a prescription that is supposed to fight against strep/sinus infections/pneumonia and he told me well I think you have something viral but in a few days if it doesnt go away take this drug..... well lets see how about I just take it now because then if it is bacterial this will make it go away that much quicker and if it is viral then this wont interfere with its course. I can not stop coughing. At least it helps tone the abdominal muscles a bit lol but not enough for me to be happy that I am coughing. Ugn. I still went to work though, I really do not want to miss anymore work. But past that I heard through Joe that Steph and Skip are doing great and that is awesome. I dont think I could handle going through that. I am happy to know that this has past and now Steph can begin on her way to health once more (and hopefully no more trips to dialysis). Things are going pretty well here at home. Today me and Chuck took down all the christmas decorations. It looks so bare in here now and plus we have to figure out what to put back in the spot were the tree was. Tomarrow we are supposed to go pick up Kaylee from my moms. She got to go spend a few days out there during her last few days off from school. These last two days of work I have gotten to orientate a new RN. She graduated in May the same as me but this is her first job. A little odd orientating someone when you graduated the same time as her. But hey it is not that bad I get to unload 3-4 of my patients and ehlp her out with her questions. But it can end up being more work than expected mostly because they do not seem to have a lot of confidence in themselves on what they are doing. MIne actulaly came to ask me if she could take a corner of the fitted sheet on the bed off to straighten it out. mmmmm. That is ok though because it is an extra 2 dollars and hour. Yippee. Joe came over last night. What a great friend I mean I havent shaved my legs in forever due to 1- dry skin because of the cold and 2- because I have been so busy/sick but my great friend didnt mind rubbing my sore tired legs. Thank you Joe!

My day off.....

2005-12-16T20:11:00.000-05:00

Ok so I had today off, awesome, I spent most of the day baking. And oh my gosh at least I have learned to make extra cause at least half of it will not turn out good at all, or it might turn out tasting good but looking like trash but the second one coems out pretty good. Tomarrow is Kaylee's birthday and we are having family over for dinner so I made a cake well two the first one split in half and the icing (i used the pressured cans of icing for writing) didnt mix completely so it ran all over the icing of the cake but it tasted great for desert tonight! and the one I made for tomarrow came out ok we decorated it with littlest pet shop toys on top with lots of icing and sugar sprinkles she likes it, that is all that matters. Then I made two sugar free pudding pies, one buttershotch and one chocolate. Then I made pizza's for dinner. And I have a 13lb turkey in the fridge defrosting to be cooked on Monday, biscuts for sunday. Oh and then we made cookies last night for kaylee's school party today. The good thing about all this cooking is that the kitchen is clean top to bottom. I can not cook in a dirty kitchen so when I decide to cook or bake the kitchen gets a good scrub down. Not that chuck doesn't clean it at least once a week but since the kitchen is the main entry point of our apartment it gets a lot of traffic meaning a lot of dirt. So now I get to start my holiday work. These next couple of weeks are going to be very busy so no new posts besides this one are expected. I work sat 12/17/05 get home at 4pm then kaylees dinner is at 5pm I work sunday then have to meet everyone at chuck's sisters after work. I have monday off hoping to finish off christmas shopping. Then I work Teusday through to the 1st of January. And maybe the first too if I decide to volunteer for it. I am thincking about it because I am working christmas eve from 7am to 3pm then I volunteered to work christmas day from 3pm to 11pm and on both those days I will get paid double time and a half and if I work the first I will get double time and a half also. That check is tempting. When I work those christmas days just those two days I will be getting paid for 40 hours. 40hrs of pay for working two 8 hour shifts? Can not pass that up at all. So I apologize if it seems that I am not paying much attention to my online tasks but you all will be in my thoughts!!!! Well I am glad to have had this snow even though it may have caused lots of problems but my daughter got to make a snowman with her daddy and it turned out awesome!!!!!

2005-12-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

Well Christmas is almost here and there is so much to do but love an joy to all and may your holiday be filled with all the hopes and dreams possible.

Missed all this fun........

2005-12-12T19:20:00.000-05:00

This was Kaylee's birthday party on the 10th. I unfortunetly didnt get to go. I missed a christmas party the night before and then her party on the 10th. Stupid doctors dont listen. I mean they think that just because they know how one thing works like a certain insulin they wont keep me on my insulin that I take at home therefore keeping me in the hospital longer. I think that this is a record for me. But this time the DKA was not my fault. The prep that one doctor put my through for a certain procedure completely dehydrated me and sent my blood work out of wack ending me up throwing up all over my bed, unable to breath, and just plain sick as a dog and that ends me up in the ICU for three days. I am done with these stupid docs I swear. And as soon as my endocrinologist set the ICU doc straight about my insulin I got better 100% faster. I take twenty units of insulin before I eat and they only wanted to give me 2. hmmm not going to work. Anyway the picture above is my favorite we tease kaylee that this is her boyfriend Jordan. And the lower is after her dear uncle Joe shoved a cupcake in her face. ~Peaj

Home

2005-12-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

Well I came home late wed. night, I have been mostly laying around not doing much. Still in a lot of pain with a lot of frustration. No clear answers why I am having this pain. They did an exploritory lap. and found a few things but none that would be causing my pain where it is possibly, I have to wait for the pain from this surgery to go away so that I can be sure if the other pain is gone or not. I am trying to move around as much as possible the pain meds help with that. But once they wear off I just hurt and usually it hurts before it is time for more pain meds. So thank you to all for you thoughts they mean a lot to me. And for now I am just left with frustration with my own feild. ~Peaj

Tis the season

2005-11-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

My answer is he would tell all of us parents to do our own F'n shopping!! LOL

As we get older

2005-11-25T15:21:00.000-05:00

Actor Pat Morita Dies at 73
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051125/ap_on_en_mo/obit_morita
Japanese-American performer who is best known as Arnold in the popular TV series "Happy Days" and as martial arts sage Mr. Miyagi in the popular "Karate Kid" films. Morita began his career doing stand-up, using stories about Japanese-American culture as a basis for his comedy, and opening for such acts as Ella Fitzgerald, Johnny Mathis, and Diana Ross. He eventually graduated to headlining in Las Vegas showrooms, Playboy Clubs and Carnegie Hall, and made guest appearances on such early hit series as "M*A*S*H", "Love Boat" and "Magnum, P.I.", as well as being a frequent guest on variety and talk shows.
In series TV, Morita was a regular on "Sanford and Son" (NBC, 1974-75) playing Lamont's buddy Ah Chew but he gained enormous popularity when he landed the role of Arnold in the second season of Happy Days" (ABC, 1975-76), as owner of the malt shop where Fonzie and the gang hang out. Morita left the show to star in his own short-lived series "Mr. T and Tina" (ABC, 1976), becoming the first Japanese-American to star in series TV.
He made his feature acting debut in "Thoroughly Modern Millie" (1967) and was regularly cast in supporting roles in comedies throughout the 1970s and early 80s, but it was the casting of Morita as Mr. Miyagi, the wise and peaceful martial arts master in "The Karate Kid" (1984), that marked a turning point in his career. His carefully calibrated performance was critically acclaimed and the film's wide audience appeal translated into three sequels and a new status for the actor. He went on to receive star billing in features like the buddy movie "Collision Course" (1990) where he teamed up with comic Jay Leno, and several other features that quickly disappeared. Director Gus Van Sant cast him as a medicine man in the ill-fated "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" (1993). In "The Next Karate Kid" (1994), a teenage girl replaced an aging Ralph Macchio.
Also Credited As:
Noriyuki Morita
Born:
on 06/28/30 in Isleton, California
Job Titles:
Actor, Comic, Data processor, Department head at an aerospace firm
Family
Daughters: has three from his two marriages
Significant Others
Wife: Evelyn Guerrero. married in 1995
Milestones
1967 Feature debut, "Thoroughly Modern Milie"
1969 TV debut as series regular, "The Queen and I"
1972 TV-movie debut, "A Very Missing Person"
1974 Regular in TV sitcom, "Sanford and Son"
1976 Star of own shortlived sitcom, "Mr T. And Tina"
1984 Co-starred in first of four feature series, "The Karate Kid"
1984 Won a Supporting Oscar nomination, "The Karate Kid"
1985 Debut in a TV miniseries, "Alice in Wonderland"
1987 Star of shortlived detective series, "Ohara"
1995 Received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Became headliner in Las Vegas showrooms and Playboy Clubs
Began career as nightclub comedian opening for such acts as Ella Fitzgerald, Johnny Mathis, Diana Ross and the Supremes
Regular on longrunning sitcom, "Happy Days"
Spent adolescence in WWII Japanese internment camp
Spent from two to nine years of age hospitalized with spinal tuberculosis
Voiceover for animated series, "The Karate Kid"

Update maybe

2005-11-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

Well I went to a new endrocrinologist and new started me on lantus and humalog again. And we were talking about an insulin pump. So I come home and I call the number to find out my coverage well they cover 70% ok and that comes out to me oweing 1,500 dollars. Ok so I guess that that will not be happening in this life time. Not unless Chuck gets a job. And I do not see that happening. I go to days on monday. I work 7am till 3:30pm so hopefully I get home by 4pm, when kaylee gets home. It is going to be a hard switch but at least I do not work the weekend so I can get back on schedule. I am going to miss midnights. But on my days off I need to do more than sleep. I work Thanksgiving but I get paid double time and a half. Shit I would work every holiday. I mean if I am on days and I am home by 4. But on the other hand I would like to have at least one off. Butt how it is now I work thanksgiving, christmas eve, and new years eve and then next year I will work christmas day and new years day. and it switches back and forth like that. Not a bad deal and at double time and a half. Well that is about all that is new.

ok so I must be doing something wrong

2005-11-04T08:18:00.000-05:00

I dont know haw to make my husband happy anymore. He would probably just say more blowjobs but he never takes my question about making him happy seriously. I mean I read his post and what am I supposed to think. He says that he is more dead then alive. Ok well fuck you too. How should that make me feel. I mean I am part of his life right? I just dont want to go through this again. I told him last time that he started his meds that if he stopped I would leave, does he remember? Does he realize that I didnt?? And he didnt even tell me he stopped he didnt tell me until it came out at a doc. visist that we were at together when I was pregnant. And I told him this day would come that these feelings would come back and he still came off them. I just I can not take the stress of this again I dont think. I will never make him happy. No matter what I do or what anyone does he will never be a happy person. So I either have to deal with that or not deal with it. I am so tired. ~Peaj

ok these were from the summer

2005-10-28T22:41:00.000-04:00

But they are really cute.

Ok so I will try this again.

2005-10-27T20:30:00.000-04:00

Well Chucks dad called and his grandmother passed away. It is sad that it happened so quick. She was recently diagnosed with stage four cancer. And from diagnosis to know was only about a week maybe a few days longer. We will miss her. Now we just have to figure out a way to tell Kaylee. my poor baby has dealt with so much death in her life. But she is a strong little girl. I love my family and the family that I married into but sometimes I just do not want to talk to them. I mean I dont know. I guess that is how all families are though.Well I got a day postition at work. I guess I am excited about it. I am going to miss midnights though. I start the 20th of november on days. Same floor. Joe remind me to tell you about yesterday. It is just to long to type out. Later~Peaj

Stress what would that feel like?

2005-10-27T16:18:00.000-04:00

Well I had the day off

2005-10-18T20:34:00.000-04:00

I had today off. Which is great and all but they have sent me home early these last few days so I kinda wish they had called me in. Oh well. But soem good news is that I got the day position granted it is only 8 hour shifts so I have to work five days a week like the rest of the world but I do believe I will survive. They changed how my overtime works now it has to be any hours over 80 hours in a two week period and that is overtime. No biggy that should be easy to get working the eights becasue they will probably always call and ask me to come in 4 hours early or stay for 4 hours so I do believe that I will get more overtime this way. Plus I will be on a normal schedule sleeping nights and being up during the day, especially on my days off. I will not be sleeping all day. Well I got to see the twins today. They are so cute I should have taken my camera. My parents were there too. We were moving a dresser. And So while my mom, dad and chuck took the dresser to the salvation army my uncle went to pick up my aunt and asked if I would stay and watch the girls. GREAT!! I love too. So they were hungry so me and my grandma feed them some finger snacks and they got all goey and slobery so I took them in their room and washed them up and changed their clothes and diapers and my mom and them came back and she coems in the room and she is all like "oh your practicing?" and I told her that we had been trying but that nothing was happening and she said the same thing that everyone is saying that I should stop trying so hard and just it will happen when it is time. But as you allllll know I want that time to be now. Well my Uncle went through the courts and all and has guardianship of the girls and I was talking to my grandma and she told me that if I tried to take the girls it would break my uncles heart. It is not that I want to "take" them but him and my aunt have had 5 kids of their own and they all turned out "bad" all in to drugs and bad things. And they themselves drink and do drugs. I mean and my grandma is blind to all this. I just wish that there was a way to not hurt anyones feelings and "take" them. Uh. Anyway you have all heard this before.~Paula

For those of you who know us best.....

2005-10-16T17:21:00.000-04:00

Ok so for those of you who know us bestI am so sure that if I had not married Chuck that this is him. I mean just look at the coat, chuck has two of those coats, of course not as decked out as this mans but for all who wonder this would be Chuck if I was not in his life, lol!